Personal Year's End Reflection

But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For every man shall bear his own burden.

(Galatians 6:4-5 KJV)

It seems fitting at this time of year to examine in one’s own heart those things which have proved to be areas of strength and areas of weakness in our life. Therefore, I write this on a personal level, not as teaching, but as a sharing of myself to encourage others to do the same. Perhaps in my honesty I can urge others to be vulnerable, if not with others, at least with themselves.

As I move along the road of sanctification, being conformed to the image of God from glory to glory, there are times of growth toward that goal and times where I seemingly lose ground.  I am going to personalize what Peter says concerning the church, in 1 Peter 2:5. “Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ.”  God is building me as a spiritual house and not only needs, but desires, my cooperation in the process. The fancy term is spiritual formation.  We all have strong points and weak points in our lives. This is not to say that the strong points are currently as strong as they should be or that the weak points are beyond repair, for we know that the process is not yet finished. And that, my friends, is a good thing. So with that as an introduction, I want to share several strengths and several weaknesses in my own life with you.

On my birthday several weeks ago, I asked my wife, Jan, to prophesy over me what the Lord was telling her about me. One of the things she said was that God was giving me a new name and as I reflected on that I heard within “Faithful and True.” So I will start my strengths list with what God said about me rather than what I see in myself. If God says I am faithful and true, then who am I to argue with Him? (Moses and Gideon just came to mind) This was a big deal to me. Life has challenges that can bring us, and me specifically over the last few years, to the point of feeling like Gideon when the angel of the Lord came to him as he was threshing wheat by the winepress to hide it from the Midianites: “And he said unto him, Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house (Judges 6:15 KJV). But I rejoice that as my wife and the Lord were faithful to speak, I will rejoice in the next verse, “And the LORD said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites as one man (Judges 6:16 KJV).” Am I as faithful and true as I will ultimately be? No, but He’s given me a vision to grow into concerning myself. This is something both He and I can build on.

Another strength I recognize is the ability to focus. Once I get locked onto a subject or task, it seems impossible to break my attention. Because of this, I can be highly productive in the areas I focus on. I am a good student because of my focus. On the flip side of this coin, focus can also be a weakness in me, but that comes later.

This has been a year of allowing God to work true humility in me and I see that as strength.  I know the work is not complete yet, but I am happy to see a deeper level of humility now than I have before. We all need those around us for accountability. I have many people I look to for counsel and to keep me accountable. I know God is the agent in this, but He uses those around us to assist. Jan and others have been lovingly faithful to me in not allowing me to go unchallenged in certain areas of thought and action. This, at times, has been very hard for me. But the fruit produced has been worth all the pruning.

Change is hard for me and yielding to change gracefully is one of my greatest weaknesses. So when change is thrust upon me I usually respond in an ungraceful way, sometimes hurting those around me. I am much happier in the familiar and in control.  As I yield to the humility being worked more and more within me, I believe the resistance to change and the need to control will be eradicated. I believe this one area has hindered me from entering into all the fullness of the Holy Spirit. Control causes hardness. Blessedly, I live and work with those who have been gracious and forgiving, correcting me and giving me time to seek the Lord concerning it. This is grace at its best.

Although focus is a strength, aspects of it can be a weakness; this certainly being the case with me. I get so locked into what I’m doing at times that the slightest interruption, again, causes an ungraceful, ungrateful reaction in me. Although I could chock it up to having a one track mind, I might as well just identify it as a character fault and allow the Lord to tear it down and rebuild grace in its place. I know He has begun the work, as I can see improvement in that area over the last year. My prayer is to yield more to His hand and His chisel as the work of formation continues in me.

               Another area of weakness can be my tendency to intellectualize too many things. I am an avid reader, which I believe is a good thing. It keeps my wheels turning on many different levels. The downside of that is learning can become an intellectual exercise that misses the higher learning experience of the Spirit. This, luckily, is not a major weakness, just something I become aware of from time to time.

So there you have it. So rejoice with me in my strengths and stand with me as I allow God’s grace to help me minimize my weaknesses. Take some time and create your own list. You don’t have to share it, but the honesty in creating it can be the first strength on your list. Happy New Year to you, my friends.